Life as a Healer
My whole purpose of leaving my full time job to pursue my passion as a therapeutic healer was to give myself time to be better at what I do, to learn more about yoga and healing, and to have energy to be fully present with each client and student. I wanted to live a life of a holistic healer. I wanted to become a Yogi.
Being a Yogi is being able to keep calm during all the chaos; to feel this connectedness to yourself that you feel when you are experiencing that Front Row Moment, fully alive and living, and learning how to keep these feelings from these experiences with you throughout the day to day. You know, that feeling you experience after you attended a three-day yoga retreat?
When you step onto your mat you begin to learn more about yourself through a mindful approach to your daily practice and life, you begin to recognize when you are distracted or being pulled away from the present moment with a specific thought or feeling.
When you are ready to open up you begin listening to your body a little differently.
Listen closely. What do you desire?
I love learning. Every day you are surrounded by new possibilities and given the chance to learn something new. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, as if you never seem to know enough! Let go of those voices that say “you are not good enough”, “you do not know enough”, and find the courage to move forward when everything seems so overwhelming.
Lately, I’ve been learning how to surrender a little bit more, not trying to be perfect or teach the perfect class. To tell myself, “it’s okay”. Sometimes, dropping expectations can create more room for growth and when doing so, I find that at the end of the day I feel better than when the day started.
We tend to be too hard on ourselves.
Let’s change that.
Before I really allowed yoga to find me, I went through a hard breakup and didn’t realize how much I had depended on that person for the feeling of family, and when it was all gone it was really hard to make connections with people. The last thing I wanted to do was roll out my yoga mat. Anxiety, fear, doubt, anger—I masked every one of these emotions and tried to ‘get over it’ while trying not to spread my poison, as if it was contagious.
One of my biggest struggles was with depression and I had to learn how to take my own medicine before I could truly heal—I needed to take my own advice. Shouldn’t we all take a moment to listen more closely to ourselves?
Listen closely. What do you desire?
There have been moments when I wanted to give up. There have been moments when my yoga practice has taken me too close to the raw issues, showing me a little too much when I wasn’t ready yet. There have been moments during class where it’s been incredibly hard to hold back the tears experienced from quoting a beautiful quote, or listening to a meaningful song, or from just simply practicing. This is the moment when you need your medicine to pull through. To listen to the teachings that come directly from yourself—the voices that are telling you, “yes you can”, “you got this”.
Your yoga practice is more than just a physical practice. Allow yourself to surrender completely to every sensation, feeling, and experience that comes directly from letting go. Acknowledging these teachings that come directly from your mat. They teach us how to graciously take the next step and transition between the big stuff with ease and patience without missing anything.
It may be uncomfortable, but there is so much beauty in that.
Shifting from the darkness always begins with a mental shift. Allowing yourself to stay open, to not close yourself off and to realize that you need to change something. I knew I didn’t want depression to define me as a person, so I went for hikes, took a yoga class, made new friends—I created a shift.
I began to rewrite my story in a way that resonated with me and began taking my own medicine more consistently—truly listening to the feeling that hangs heavy in the pit of the stomach and making the appropriate decisions. The pieces don’t always fit, but teaching others what I have learned along the way to help them not feel so stuck and defeated is a gentle reminder that even on the darkest day we are not alone—we all experience suffering.
When I feel disconnected, I do the things that bring me back to myself—yoga, meditation, journaling, hiking. I don’t like being disconnected. I’m instantly insecure, foggy, and not there anymore. I don’t like that version of myself.
You can only be good to someone else if you are being good to yourself, right?
I have always wanted to help others heal when they felt stuck in any situation or with any feeling—anxiety, fear, depression or heartbreak. Having experienced these feelings rather strongly and experiencing the power of yoga I have a profound desire to help those that desire to learn more about themselves along the way—passing down information that has only been passed down to me from past experiences and other people that have experienced their own suffering and pain along the way. We are all teachers. We are all students.
That’s what is so great about yoga, you can’t own it. You just experience it. You live it.
You are yoga. I am Yoga. We are Yoga.